then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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