Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
