Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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