i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
