that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
