i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
