is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
