Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
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