He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
