maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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