i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
