I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
