Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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