Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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