he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
