yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
