The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
