What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
