marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Randomize