Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Quick, to the slutcave!
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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