You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
