This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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