she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
No subtext here. People are naked.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
