I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
My vagina just recognized that song.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
