Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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