Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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