At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
