The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
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