Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
