butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Randomize
