Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
