I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
