is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
