I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
