Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
