i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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