I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
