I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Randomize