is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
God I need to hump something, right now.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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