Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
This is classic penis vs brain.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
