he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
