haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize