You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
my shit smells like andre
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
