so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
