you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
