I puked a lego.
handjob tips. give me some.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize
