Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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