Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
