At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
