he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
