Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
