U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
