He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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