I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
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