It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
