the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
