My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
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